• Ashley Lily Scarlett

      I had green nail polish on. The white is from painting the walls in my new flat. And I’m on a train which is amazing because trains and train stations and all the people on them have the potential to make me very nervous. On the escalator which was crowded in both directions I was saying in my head “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right – shut your eyes – no, open your eyes, you’re a horse wearing blinkers, yes, blinkers – no, just look at your feet – nearly there, nearly there – stand hard left so the people walking up the right hand side don’t bump you . . . ”
      Really! Glad I could do it!
      The greens were one of those pieces of good fortune that one longs for when photographing.

      • Stuart Hyde - shpics

        Often the things I like most in my images are the accidental good fortune things…. so much more satisfying than the carefully planned…..:-)
        That a series of accidents can create a colour palette like you see in this shot really is one of the best things about making photos.
        Here’s to accidents!

        Like most phobia free folk I find it almost impossible to understand their power over others, so I apologise in advance if my comment seems glib, it’s certainly not intended to be, but, the shot was worth it Ashley, I’m glad you could do it as well.

        • Ashley Lily Scarlett

          You do not sound glib at all. Infact, you are one of the very few people that recognises that they don’t ‘get’ phobias and who also recognises that it is real for those who have them. Thank you.
          Once I heard my female next door neighbour screaming , I dashed to her front door: “What is it, Jo?!” “There’s a cockroach!” “Ok, let me in and I’ll get rid of it.” “I can’t, I’m on the bed!” “Ok. You just run to the door and open it and dash back to the bed. Ok?”
          So with courage she did and I got rid of the cockroach. She was so embarassed, poor thing. I said that most people are scared of something and even if no one else is, the fear is real to the person who is feeling it. I told her that there were things that she could do (like getting on buses and trains 🙂 ) that frightened me like mad. 🙂

          • Stuart Hyde - shpics

            A very close friend had an intense phobia that had a huge impact on her life, and I think I started to understand more through talking to her….Initially, I stupidly thought phobias needed to be ‘prodded’, that they were a weakness that just needed to be confronted and overcome, but seeing how awfully she was affected really made me stop and think.
            I think it’s rare for phobias to be beaten, but I do think some can be ‘managed’, and I’ve got a real respect for people who refuse to just buckle under.

            • Ashley Lily Scarlett

              Interesting conversation, here, Stuart. 🙂
              I think that phobias can sometimes be beaten. But what you say about management is so true. When I used to try to make my depression/anxiety go away for good I was very frustrated and confused but when I started thinking in terms of management, it became much much easier to deal with.Then just a few years ago I found out that what I have is Bipolar type 2. That was a relief because that explained why the depression kept coming back – i.e. it aint going anywhere. Also I have more appropriate medications. Hallelujah!
              There are therapies available for all kinds of mental illnesses but the thing with therapies is that the time has to be right, like not necessarily immediately, a rapport with the therapist is essential and for those who take medications, it can take a very long time to find one/some that work. I have social phobia and that manifests in a number of different ways. Sometimes it’s stronger than others; I think it depends on how depressed/anxious I am in general at the time.
              I’m noticing a real difference since I got news of my new flat, I guess because I have hope again and even feel happy! Yay!
              Oh I’m rambling but I can’t resist this:
              I had a psychologist once who fell asleep! Nod, nod, nod, asleep! I thought it most amusing as it happened but later on, that combined with a couple of other things caused me to terminate that relationship. 🙂

              • Stuart Hyde - shpics

                Hey Ashley
                SO SORRY I haven’t replied til now…Major computer arse-ache…within two days of getting back to the UK (where usually I have no issues with internet at all), I have been left with no connection whatsoever….In Spain for 9 weeks before which is usually a nightmare I never once had a problem !! Go figure!!
                New flat/new start…Sounds good!!!! 🙂 I’ve spent a lot of my life moving around and that feeling of getting somewhere new and then splashing on the paint and getting it how you want it, is always an exciting time…Enjoy.
                I shouldn’t worry about the narcoleptic psychologist…People I’m talking to fall asleep all the time

            • Andrew Maclaren-Scott

              A very interesting discussion. The thing that scares me most, so far, is myself, or at least what can arise inside my head, sometimes; but then I suppose most problems really come from inside rather than out.

              I rather love trains and crowded places and hustle and bustle that I can temporarily lose myself in.

            • Andrew Maclaren-Scott

              I’ve never been called an extrovert, to my knowledge, and woud not describe myself as one. I am actually rather shy and nervous speaking with strangers, but certainly voluble with people I have grown comfortable with. My nervous shyness with strangers does tend to make me blurt out things I soon wish I had kept inside my head, however. But I am very content is a bustling throng of people I don’t actually have to interact with. In fact I like nothing better than sitting in a busy pavement cafe alone with my drink but watching the chaos of life flow around me. I have been called “strange” often enough though, but usually in a kindly way.

  1. Claude

    I love your manicure! The background not so much, but the composition is great!

    I’m 85 this week. And I’ve never met a normal person yet. Most people don’t know that. But some are far more lucid than others on what makes them tick or not. I’m so glad, Ashley, that you get the proper medication now. Congratulations on your train trip.

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